If only you knew...

Bad moods seem to end in good poetry :P

My muse.

Without you by my side 
I really get distracted. 
I look at things that happen 
Talk about overreacted. 
I don't know how to think 
Or how to form right words 
The things that I'm above 
They really start to hurt. 
When you aren't there to ground me 
And keep me in my head 
I cry myself to sleep at night 
And all day I feel dead 
I hate that I'm not stronger 
In all I'm going through 
I wish I was content 
Just simply thinking of you. 
But man, my heart is bleeding 
My emotions are out of whack. 
In all my moving forward 
I sometimes wanna go back. 
To when my life seemed simple. 
I was content not having enough 
Like would get me through with him 
Though with you, I left my love. 
Most days I am a mess, 
But I try my best to hide it 
I've never been the mean one 
I've barely even tried it. 
When I think I've done the best 
That I could truly do. 
Something starts to derail me 
And the whole day comes unglued. 
I hate to say I need you. 
And leave myself exposed 
I wish my heart weren't so open, 
That my mind was a little more closed. 
If I have to bleed for someone 
I guess it's you I'd choose 
More than a lover, and way past friend 
For you've become my muse.

~crystal-dawn